Idealism

I have had a few conversations recently with a friend of mine. This friend is currently in the process of joining an organization. She really loves the work and she's very excited to become one of them. However, she has told me about some of the most open and astonishing displays of sexism I've ever heard of in this area coming from within the ranks of that organization. In order to protect her privacy, I have made some changes to the following narrative. This narrative represents mostly things that I wish I had said.

"The new pair of tits around the place"

"Out of all of the nicknames they've come up with for me, there is one that just pisses me off. This one guy was talking about me and he called me 'the new pair of tits around the place' and I was just... excuse me?"

Allow me to be clear. It's not that I have a problem with this because I'm a rather forward thinking chap who doesn't approve of such crude behavior or anything. I have a problem with this because it's wrong. Talking about women as if their boobs are the only things worth notice is wrong. If you ever wanted an idea of what feminists mean when they talk about men sexualizing women, this is a perfect example. This (if he can even be called that) man is saying that this woman is no more than her breasts. She exists to be enjoyed by the men. She has been, in a word, objectified. 

"There are two kinds of women around here."

My friend tells me that another woman already in this organization sat her down and had a talk with her. After warning her that the men would hit on her mercilessly and shower her with insults if she turned them down, this woman says that there are two kinds of women in this line of work. There are women who get the job done, and there are women who fuck all of the men. Women who do the job are worthy, while the other kind are whores and therefore wothless. Of course, the men aren't whores. The men can do the job and also try to get laid. In fact, they are expected to. This is what we feminists like to call a double standard.

"At least it's better than it used to be. Before, women weren't even allowed in the building."

At least it's better than it used to be. Before, women weren't even allowed to vote.

At least it's better than it used to be. Before, women weren't even allowed out of the kitchen.

At least it's better than it used to be. Before, women were considered property.

And people think #reasonstobeatyourgirlfriend is funny.

"That's just the way it is. And it's not going to change"

Yes, that may be the way it is. But it doesn't always have to be this way. How do you think women achieved suffrage? It was not by saying things like, "that's just the way it is". These women faced opposition then too, and had less power to fight with. But if you have a problem with the way things are , then you must change it. We've made changes before, and how do you think that happened? We had to drag this society forward, kicking and screaming. There's always resistance, of course there is! If anything's unchanging, it's that. But I live my life with the belief that "that's the way it is" does not mean "that's the way it always will be".

Yes, I'm an idealist, if that means I want to make a difference.

Yes, I'm an idealist, if that means I know that I can make a difference.

Yes, I'm an idealist, if that means I'm willing to try.